I want your help to open a shop:


The idea is that the things we sell are designed to make you feel beautiful on the inside as well as (or instead of) the outside. We’ll carry an exclusive range of products that look just like cosmetics, but are actually food.

Our exquisite products will include:

  • Comely Candy: Sugary treats that look like soap.
  • Nice Ices: Ice cream surprises that look like soap.
  • Foxy Fruit Bars: Ravishing delicacies that look like soap.
  • Divine Drinks: Fizzy and sublime, they looks like (liquid) soap.
  • Fascinating Fudge: Sensuous and sublime, it looks like soap.
  • Lovely Jelly: Shapely jelly bites with an alluring charm. They look like soap, too.
  • Charismatic Cheeses: Sublime chunks of cheesy bewitchment. That look like soap.

And our best selling:

  • Charming Chocolate: It looks look like soap, but on a rope.


For the most impact, we should aim to open our stores right next door to a well known cosmetics store.

Further Information

The products won’t actually be used as soap. We know that they will look like soap, we know that they will taste like soap, they might even be made of soap. But they really are not to be used as soap. We know this becauase you can’t actually eat soap.

A burger

Special note to my gentleman readers

You know those little square blocks that you find in urinals? They’re not edible either. Believe me, I know.


Original images courtesy Stock.Xchng:

This entry was posted in Confused, Edible, Food, Parody. Bookmark the permalink.

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